Oh man yeah I just use a regular bucket with a tight lid and it works fine.

Ngl, "hollow shells for a solid year"?! That's wild to me because I've had the complete opposite result. Honestly, I think it's gotta be your oven or the humidity thing you mentioned because I live in a dry climate and my silicone mats have been a lifesaver. Tbh I was burning batch after batch on parchment and the silicone fixed it overnight. Maybe try switching back for a winter batch and see if the moisture issue calms down?

Hold on, I don't think that's quite right. Fabricating a whole local news story sounds more like a bug than just a regular mistake.

The $30 cushion find is actually a great argument for cash stuffing, @sam_anderson, because that lost money is a built-in savings surprise versus the constant slow bleed from a card.

Idk, straw pellets get super dusty though.