A client's comment about her mom's old stylist made me think about my own chairside manner

I was doing a color correction on a regular yesterday, and she started talking about how her mom used to go to the same stylist for like 25 years. She said, 'He never rushed her. She said it felt like therapy.' That hit different, you know? I realized I've been so focused on nailing the technique and hitting my timing goals that sometimes I'm just going through the motions with the small talk. I'm not actually listening. It made me wonder if my clients feel truly heard, or if they just feel like another head of hair in the chair. How do you guys balance being efficient with making that real, personal connection? I don't want to be just a service provider.

3 comments

3 Comments

james_martin931mo agoMost Upvoted

Spot on about listening, but maybe you're being too hard on yourself about the timing goals. That stuff matters too, right? A client who feels rushed because you're behind isn't having therapy either. The real trick is in the small moments, like putting the brush down for a second to actually look at them when they're telling a big story. It's not about adding more time, it's about using the time you have better.

leet291mo ago

My old barber, Tony, used to cut hair in total silence for like 20 minutes straight. Then he'd just stop and ask one question and you'd tell him your whole life story. That's what your point about the brush made me think of, @james_martin93.

parker_bailey17d ago

Notice how this happens everywhere now. We get so focused on the next task or hitting some metric that we forget the person right in front of us. It's like we're all just checking boxes instead of having real moments. That stylist for her mom probably wasn't even thinking about it, he was just present. That's the part that's getting lost.