Can we talk about how I used to lead book club discussions like a manager?

For two years, I'd start every meeting with a full summary of the book and a list of themes I'd prepped. People just nodded along. Then last month, after getting bored myself, I tried just asking one weird question first, like 'What scene made you the most angry?' Now everyone talks over each other for 20 minutes straight. Has anyone else had way better conversations after ditching the structure?

2 comments

2 Comments

robin8363d ago

Got a similar thing when I stopped planning my monthly dinner party menus. Used to spend hours with recipes and seating charts, then everyone just ate politely and left. One night I threw out the paper and just put a big pot of random chili on the table with some toppings. People ended up building their own bowls and arguing over hot sauce brands for forty five minutes. Now I barely prep anything and the conversations are way more fun. It's like when you force structure everyone clams up, but when you leave it loose they actually want to talk.

the_derek3d ago

So @robin836, did that hot sauce debate end up becoming a regular thing at your dinners now? I'm curious if the relaxed setup actually changed who talks the most or if it just shifted the same crew from quiet to loud. Seems like everyone has that one friend who suddenly gets real passionate about condiments once you drop the pressure. I wonder if the trick is just making people feel like they have a small job to do, like picking their own toppings, so they relax enough to actually engage.